essaysbysean.blogspot.com
++(My coach had told
us boys, “Forget girls, go shoot baskets.” Now pointing at me: Start writing)++
What’s the point
in me writing about sex, anymore than I’d write about procrastination?
Do you really need
to see yet another blog post on procrastination? Well, maybe I do, as I’m a sucker for self-help
articles, but—a post on general sexuality? There’s obviously even more feature articles
about everybody’s favorite topic than articles on procrastination, right? I
mean, society eagerly spends millions of dollars on research, and presumably that
means more than enough knowledge and articles. Presumably.
On the other hand,
I keep learning stuff on my own, and sometimes I think society is out to lunch…
I think what Lao Zu advised thousands of years ago is still true: “Those who
know, don’t tell.” There are sound reasons for me to not tell you and our society
what I have so painfully learned.
Lao Zu also said, “Those
who tell, do not know.”
A serious reason
for not knowing, in human affairs, is a simple one: We like to be comfortable.
++(My coach makes a
time-out sign. Pointing at me: Be a citizen)
That said, please
pardon my discomfort, while I briefly do my informed-citizen–during-wartime
thing... Sexual culture is not fixed: It was back in the 1980’s, even before cross-border
terror, that a New York Times best
seller by Louis L’amour, The Walking
Drum, exposed the Arabs as having a saying, “The enemy of my enemy is my
friend.” I would have comfortably forgotten that an entire nation could believe
this, I would have conveniently misremembered the saying as being from a Hollywood
Mafia show, were it not for the war to re-take Kuwait from Iraq: Every one was
begging the Israelis, “Please don’t shoot back!”… Don’t counter-fire against
Saddam Hussein’s missiles, lest Arab nations instantly switch sides and join
Saddam. You may recall that despite Iraqi missiles landing in Israel, the
Israelis exercised self-control.
As for self-control
and sex, L’amour’s book has a scene where a European man and an Arab woman are
alone together, crouched alone behind some road brush. When some local Muslim friends
ride by, the man starts to go out to hail them. The woman hauls him back to
hide, with desperate strength, like Sarah Connor holding back a time-traveler
from the police: “They’ll kill you!” Arabs of that time and place will assume a
man does not have self-control. For my own comfort, I will assume this concept does
not apply to a modern Arab tourist alone with my sister in London Ontario. You will
too, right?
(OK, time-in)++
Here at home, while
proudly twirling my moustache, I have to admit I’m not a boon to women. That
is, I have to if I want to be a writer: Canadian novelist Stephen Visinczey, best
known for In Praise of Older Women,
wrote, “If you think you’re wise, rational, good, a boon to the opposite sex and
a victim of circumstances, then you don’t know yourself well enough to write.”
Visinczey was
saying, of course, don’t be vain. But oh, it’s so comforting to be vain and say
we are at the pinnacle of all past history, that our latest “new improved generation”
is the finest and most sexually liberated of all, even more than the “younger
generation” of the sixties. Tell yourself this, Sir, when you’re walking back
from the beach flopping cold seaweed against your legs with every step, saying,
“Arg! Arg! Arg!” wearing long bathing shorts just like dear old granddad would
wear, instead of sensible sixties style jockey shorts.
What of our
ancestors before TV, before radio? Think back to when the Tin Lizzie was a
marvel, and as you would putt-putt-putt along the road some wit would call,
“Get a horse! ...” Did those Victorian folks have a clue about sex? I seem to
recall some classic English literature book where a sedate lady in a prim long
dress is sitting with her knitting, having her ball of yarn in her lap. A man
comes up and kneels to kiss her yarn. Yes, they knew… unless, of course, the readers
were all innocent, and it was only the poets who perceived things.
I am old enough to
remember the sexual revolution and how writers of the time, if they wished to
write nonfiction about sex, had to go through a few contortions in the first
few paragraphs saying they were only trying to help people, that sex was
something good and clean.
Right. So this
week’s poem is from musty old innocent times, and if you are telling me I must
have some sort of dirty mind to connect the poem to sex, well, I won’t argue
with you, not if I’m bent over busy rummaging in my beach cupboard. I’ll hurriedly
agree with you that OK, sure, the human body is nothing to be ashamed of. (Ah,
here’s my speedos) What I will say is I saw the poem on the front page to a
novel by the Walter Tevis, the same guy who wrote the book they made into a
swinging David Bowie movie, The Man Who
Fell to Earth.
I appreciate
Tevis. He also wrote The Hustler (Now a movie with Jackie Gleason
and Paul Newman) and The Color of Money.
(Now a movie with Paul Newman and Tom Cruise) If you want to read about a
society that does a reverse Helen Keller, through forgetting how to read, try
Tevis’es Mockingbird. (Remember how
her face grew more intelligent as she gained literacy?)
You ask, “Don’t
keep me in suspense, not when I’ve been raised on new technology, not when my
attention span has gone the way of the vacuum tube: What book has the poem?” (The
innocent poem that’s not about sex) That book is The Steps of the Sun. It’s told in the first person by one of the
world’s richest men, a self-made man, an honest man… a man who as a boy once slept
with his horse—in a clean way, that is—because he was so dreadfully unloved at
home… a man desperately trying to get over his sexual impotence and to stop
being not-nice to his girlfriend. I’ve read it more times than I’ve read Mockingbird. (You see, he buys this
spaceship and…)
Like last week, today’s
poem is by William Blake.
Ah Sun-flower
Ah-sunflower! weary
of time,
who countest the
steps of the sun:
Seeking after that
sweet golden clime
Where the
traveler’s journey is done.
Where the Youth
pined away with desire,
And the pale
virgin shrouded in snow:
arise from their
grave and aspire,
Where my Sun-flower
wishes to go.
Sean Crawford
Calgary
April
2015
Footnotes:
~As I implied in
my essay No Links is Good Links,
(archived July 2012) one of my top ten posts, I trust you not to get dirty by furtively
reading the web with impaired attention on company time; I trust you will cleanly,
leisurely, enjoy looking through various search topics as you wish. No need,
then, for me to do your search-linking for you.
~Although
writer-wise I came up through practical, realistic journalism, with writing as
a craft, I am transitioning to being a poet, with writing as an art. An artist
grows: By this I don’t mean gets increasingly expert at technical craft. In The Writer magazine for October 1982
Josephine Jacobsen notes that for a writer “…the danger…(is that one will
linger) on a poem which breaks no new ground, shows no sign of the discoveries
that life forces upon us. Such work, however expert, has about it something
sad, and limited.”
If an artist makes
life discoveries then it is because artists are “spiritual warriors,” as my mentor
Sheri-D Wilson notes, saying this is “very hard.” So if any artists see more
than I, are more liberated from social conditioning, or confront more truths,
then I won’t get jealous. I know that for their insight they have paid a hard
price.
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