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On Cicero and Conversations
Of course you know
of Cicero, the idealistic lawyer who lived at the time of noble Caesar—they
knew each other. People learning Latin always read Cicero. Born into a virtuous
republic, Cicero lived to see Rome enter into decadence. For his troubles in
trying to keep Rome from declining, Cicero was exiled. I enjoyed the Reader’s
Digest condensed version of the best seller about him by Taylor Caldwell, A Pillar of Iron.
Here is Cicero on
conversation:
QUOTE: Conversation
then, in which these Socratics are the best models, should have these
qualities. It should be easy and not in the least dogmatic; it should have the
spice of wit. And the one who engages in conversation should not debar others from
participation in it, as if he were entering upon a private monopoly; but, as in
other things, so in a general conversation he should think it not unfair for
each to have his turn.
He should observe,
first and foremost, what the subject of conversation is. If it is grave, he
should treat with seriousness; if humorous, with wit. And above all, he should
be on the watch that his conversation shall not betray some defect in his
character. This is most likely to occur, when people in jest or in earnest take
delight in making malicious and slanderous statements about the absent, on
purpose to injure their reputations.
The subjects of
conversation are usually affairs of the home or politics or the practice of the
professions and learning. Accordingly, if the talk begins to drift off to other
channels, pains should be taken to bring it back again to the matter in
hand—but with due consideration to the company present for we are not all
interested in the same things at all times or in the same degree. We must observe,
too, how far the conversation is agreeable and, as it had a reason for its
beginning, so there should be a point at which to close it tactfully. UNQUOTE
I found Cicero’s
quotation in A Good Talk subtitled The story and skill of conversation by
Daniel Menaker. It’s good. As Mary Roach, author of Stiff blurbed on the back cover: “… I don’t know about you, but I
find it hard to resist an author who compares Socrates to Columbo.”
After quoting
Cicero as early as page 36, Menaker writes, “Okay, that’s it! Book’s done—at
least it terms of saying what the most general rules of conversation may be. At
least (for) formal conversation, (that is,) because Cicero’s admonition not to
reveal one’s own defects is pretty guarded and ultimately unfollowable anyway.”
(Blogger’s Note: I
added the “for” and “that is,” in order to make Menaker’s sentence easier to
follow. Also, I broke Cicero into an extra paragraph in order to look better on
computer screens.)
“OK, that’s it”
for this week’s essay. Cicero has said it all for me.
But wait, I’ve
more:
On Computers
I don’t know if
today’s computers and handheld devices have meant more couches and less
conversation, but they have surely meant less reading.
A cousin in a mid-sized
British Columbia town shared the gossip: About an army cadet, a secondary
school graduate, failing to be accepted into the Canadian Armed Forces… merely
because he failed to show adequate vocabulary: In Forces terms, he had failed to
obtain the required “threshold knowledge.”
He had graduated
just fine; his health and fitness were fine—had he been below the fitness
threshold, the forces would have sent him to “fat camp”; he had graduated high
school just fine, but still he failed— probably because of all these screens
and devices. While society, at least in my age group, thinks technology is
being used by the smart kids, that ain’t so: Because down the years, by choosing
screens, and choosing not-reading, the boy had failed to pick up enough vocabulary.
And words are machetes for coping with the underbrush of life.
Granted, he was in
a rural area, which, according to popular culture, means lower schooling, and granted
his school was proud of their graduation rates for students of indigenous
heritage, which, according to my cousin, means lower standards, but still—I
blame technology. In fairness, I’m sure his fellow graduates had learned enough
to get local jobs in primary industry or retail, but still—what if that young man
wants to move to a big city of office towers? Or to an exotic coastal navy
base?
Reading is not
natural. As writer John D. MacDonald (Of the Travis McGee mystery series)
testified to congress, reading is an abstract skill of decoding marks on a
page. Reading is not easy. As a friend found when she taught adult education, her
students would lose much of their reading ability over the summer. Reading is
not monitored, not by society’s teachers: My niece was more than halfway
through third grade before my sister realized her daughter was still
illiterate. Three years! Her poor girl had to repeat grade three in a school
that used phonetics, “hooked on phonics works for me,” not goddam “whole word.”
The problem for
the non-readers is that there are so many things, such as skills for good
conversation, or the ideals of Cicero, which everyday people just don’t speak
of in daily life. You won’t learn by listening, you have to read…. And you
truly won’t learn from the talk of fellow teenagers.
Imagine a young
man moving to the big city, meeting me at an outdoor bar patio, and hoping to
add me to his network of contacts. Maybe he’s hoping to start in a big corporation’s
mailroom, and work his way up to executive. We converse. Imagine me learning he
doesn’t know who Cicero was. I would glance at an office tower, look back to
the young guy, and say, “Have you considered a career as a retail clerk?”
Sean Crawford
May,
Calgary
2016
Footnotes:
~As a former journalist
I am well aware that most people don’t know most things. Hence newspapers
explain things people “already know” (such as the on-going Fort Mac fire) just as
if a reader has been isolated in a Russian prison. In other words, if you don’t
know “Cicero,” relax. And watch less TV.
~The Economist has put a lengthy
enthusiastic article about conversation on-line, here’s the link.
By “lengthy,” I
mean it was written for real-world reading, not for viewing with a cyber-world
attention span. I believe it’s OK to view only parts for now, and maybe get
back to viewing it later.
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